Friday, November 13, 2009

I'm a total failure

Or at least that is how it feels. My kids are going back to school next week. I just don't have the time, energy or money to give them the education they need. I am not confident that being in the system is going to be much better, but at least on the days I go to the hospital, I won't be mentally kicking myself thinking how far behind my kids are getting in their education.

My husband did offer to put more into it, but it's me this time. I just don't have it in me. Can you feel my guilt just oozing off this post? Sickening isn't it?

Thousands of kids go through the school system and become successful adults. I know this and I know that the last time my kids were in school they did very well. Doesn't stop me from feeling guilty.

I told my husband I would give my left tit for a decent charter school in our county. There are methods of schooling I do feel work well. Montessori for one. Sudbury for another. Unfortunately, even working full time I don't bring in the kind of money the tuition for one of those would run, not to mention I would be driving at least an hour for the nearest acceptable private school.

So I guess future posts from me will include some of the stuff that goes into having school kids. Lunches for one. We qualify for free, or at least reduced lunch and did that last year but frankly I am not impressed with the nutritional value of hot lunch. My older daughter for a time was on a gluten free diet so I was getting creative with the lunches. I am hoping to dig some of that creativity back out.

So not looking forward to the early mornings again LOL

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